James and I decide to hit up one of our favorite square eateries for some good times and good food.  Good times, of course, means alcohol. We both order margaritas, as we are both of age. His ID is scrutinized (I have to admit, together, we look like a couple of 18-year-olds).  My ID is scrutinized…and then taken away by the waitress.  We wait three minutes.

A supervisor comes back, and leads with, “Is someone else using your ID?  Maybe you let a friend borrow it?”  Um, no, I respond.  She claims to have seen it two days ago from someone who is not me, and “remember the name, for sure.”  I assert that this is impossible, as I flew in at midnight two days ago, did not come to Border, and have no other IDs.  She shrugs her shoulders and gives me a smirk—I am guilty until proven innocent.  She leaves, and we get our margaritas 15 minutes later.  (Did they have to additionally clear them with the restaurant manager?)

James and I spend much of dinner theorizing.  Was it my 3-year-old expired ID, left in California somewhere?  Are they just covering up for taking my ID away? Is it a complete mistake of identity? We’re fairly sure the waitress heard some of our griping, and apologizes at the end. At this point, we’re pretty confident their story is BS, and state as much.

She asks if we were in two weeks before. We say yes, and point out that I asked the manager if she meant two weeks, but she continually asserted that she “saw” my ID two days ago and “remembered the name.”  The waitress explains that she must have gotten the time wrong, and that I looked “totally different” from two weeks before.  In true Border fashion, we get absolutely no recompense for dealing with the accusation that I committed a crime in their restaurant.

The entire episode raises a number of questions.  Why would the manager lie about seeing my ID, especially if she couldn’t get her facts straight?  Are the waitrons required to memorize every ID, and store them in memory indefinitely?  Border probably has a more antagonistic relationship with customers than any restaurant I’ve been to, is this good business practice? (e.g. the “whole party must be here” rule, strictly enforced at lunch time on Tuesday, when the restaurant is 3/4 empty). Finally, am I letting myself go to the degree that people can’t recognize me anymore?  Maybe I should clean up better.